Author Topic: The Last Un-tattooed Woman  (Read 670 times)

Offline bbell

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The Last Un-tattooed Woman
« on: October 02, 2015, 11:02:45 PM »
The Last Un-tattooed Woman

I never knew there were so many tacky and tasteless women in America, until tattoos became culturally acceptable. I say this with all due respect to any stripper that I may have stuffed a five or twenty into their g-string just to watch a strategically place tattoo flow with the rhythm of her rhythm.

And I have not been able to figure out why anyone who has hit the genetic jackpot, would think that they could improve on God's work, or if you are an agnostic like myself, the wonders of genetic chaos that produced near perfection, with a tattoo. I have some ideas, but since I only received a C in psychology 101 and that was 35 years ago. I should not spout them, but I will because I am tasked.

The first thing that comes to mind is that you are self loathing. How do I know this, it is simple. No tattoo can improve on natural beauty, unless it is the tattooed person doing the viewing. At best a tattoo can make a beautiful woman interesting. And not in a good way. Because a great deal of these tattoo's are of pictures of things which brings to mind Rorschach tests. Women are complicated enough without body art evoking thoughts of dogs eating kittens. Which by the way makes the the tattoo tacky and tasteless which means, you know by association, you to are tacky and tasteless. I know I know, this is America so shooting the messenger is allowed.

Secondly, it brings to mind gullibility. Why gullibility? How else can you explain allowing someone who probably did not graduate high school and spends the bulk of their day in some form of an intoxicated haze. To tattoo great pearls of wisdom onto your body in the form of Kanji or Hanzi characters. You are probably wondering what are Kanji or Hanzi characters? They are those Chinese words on your body that you think mean, 'Strong woman who stands against the dark winds.' When in fact it says, 'Dark cur who farts in the wind.' I know, that damn messenger thing again.

Thirdly, all that ink, all that pain. All that pain and all that ink. Masochist? A possibility, some woman are really into birthing pain. It makes them feel womanly. So pain equals womanhood. Hmmm. Freud you have been some what discredited. So in this case the pain is probably just an sextension of the self loathing. See what I did there Freud. 

Now let's say for the sake of your argument, that tattoos are sexy. Well accepting your premise, let me say a sexy tattoo is like real estate. It is all about location location location. Ask any good stripper who is working her way through college and also saving for her grandma's heart surgery. The placement of that tattoo has to be so strategically placed that when revealed. The 1st. reaction of the viewer is, oh my, followed by the realization that this is his or her lucky night. It's the 21st century folks.

So that tattoo on your cheek, the back of your neck, the front of your neck or any where else on your body including that place which was commonly reserved for the tramp stamp. No longer automatically denotes that you are indeed a tramp. It does in more cases than not, say that you are tacky and tasteless with the possibility that you are a very gullible masochist. Now that I think about it, those really aren't bad qualities in a woman. If all you need is a not so quiet diversion for an hour or two.

Sadly I am way passed my not so quiet hour or two diversion years. Hell it could take me that long to get excited and only a fraction of that time to become not excited, if you know what I mean. So I search for the last un-tattooed woman. Even in my age demographic that is proving an nearly impossible task, and beggars can't be choosy. So changing that profile to read 'Advanced middle aged guy seeking aging ex stripper with a well placed tattoo. Will provide pole.' Did not mean it that way, we have already discussed my excitement issues, get your minds out of the gutter.

By B Bell
You must forgive them. So many people did not slay the bogey man living under their bed as a child. Thus they feel him everywhere, hence the need to always carry a gun. Living in fear of the bogey man is a heavy burden for people to carry. So sad. 

Offline Thumb

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Re: The Last Un-tattooed Woman
« Reply #1 on: October 03, 2015, 07:02:50 AM »
I'm not even going to try and come up with a reason women get tattoos but do know of one reason probably out of a million. My wife and daughters each got one because of some kind of bonding issue. The tattoos are not big at all, maybe about the size of a silver dollar and are not strategically placed. I myself do not have any, why, because as you mentioned, I am perfect the way I was created  ;D

Oh, to mention something about your signature, looks like the boogie man hit again in Roseburg. Bet someone there wished they carried a gun.  :'(
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Offline bbell

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Re: The Last Un-tattooed Woman
« Reply #2 on: October 03, 2015, 07:29:20 AM »
There are lots of reasons women get them I am Sure. I recently was hanging out with a couple of women over thirty who did not have tattoos but wanted one so bad. I told one of them she should never get one because she would never stop getting them. She agreed.

I work in the service industry and I rarely see any women without tattoos. The other day I saw this drop dead beautiful woman well dressed. As I was scanning her perfect form I reached her feet. There she had, it looks like four names tattooed on her feet. Did not get it.


As for the boogie man. The fetishization of the gun is coming as soon as I figure out the juxtaposition of the paragraph flow. Not easy on that one. Not easy at all.
You must forgive them. So many people did not slay the bogey man living under their bed as a child. Thus they feel him everywhere, hence the need to always carry a gun. Living in fear of the bogey man is a heavy burden for people to carry. So sad. 

Offline Thumb

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Re: The Last Un-tattooed Woman
« Reply #3 on: October 03, 2015, 11:51:44 AM »
The other day I saw this drop dead beautiful woman well dressed. As I was scanning her perfect form I reached her feet. There she had, it looks like four names tattooed on her feet. Did not get it.

It's called foot fetish I guess  ;D
My brain is full. Can I go home now