Author Topic: Santa Claus not delivering to Trump voters households.  (Read 234 times)

Offline bbell

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Santa Claus not delivering to Trump voters households.
« on: December 24, 2016, 02:48:37 PM »
A coworker found this email in his spam folder last night. Now he is freaking out about his kids and wife not getting Christmas gifts. Then it really hits him, neither will he.

Santa Claus not delivering to Trump voters households.

Santa Claus                                   November 15, 2016
To me

Do not respond to this email. This is purely a courtesy heads up from the North Pole Elf procurement and shipping division.

Santa Claus (North Pole)
(U.S. of A. Trump voter)

Santa is rather melancholy to announce that he will not be delivering gifts to the homes of Trump voters. Where as Santa truly respects the right for any person to vote for who ever they want, and that the act of voting for Trump does not fall under the evil or naughty category. It does however fall squarely into the terminally stupid category.

Up until now, Santa has only considered naughty or nice, when checking his list twice. But given the increase in the earth's population and the number of people believing in Santa Claus. And the stress that time dilation, astral projection and phase shifting puts on his body. He has decided to put terminally stupid on his list, as a valid reason for not delivering gifts to certain households. As some of you may have already figured out, the not delivering to whole households is also a departure from the norm of only punishing the offending party.

Over the nearly 2 millennial that he has been observing humanity, Santa has come to realize that terminally stupid, falls under the Spock axiom of— “Prolong contact leads to a certain degree of contamination.” So with that in mind he must extend the non gifting policy to the complete households of all Trump voters. And yes, that does apply to the children. For they are easily influenced by the adults in their lives. Santa does realize that voting for Trump is not the only terminally stupid thing that people will do to keep them off of Santa's gifting list. With that said, Santa is also aware that the North American nation of the United States of America, will be adversely affected by this revision in his operating procedure, do to the Trump voting concern.

This email has been sent, to allow you time to fully prepare to fund your children's Christmases. And if you cannot afford to fund their Christmas, to prepare them for no presents. Unless you can count on the kindness of strangers, there will be no gifts whatsoever, delivered to your household, unless you provide them. Santa would also like to remind you, there is no need for you spend money on cookies and milk for him. For with Trump in office, you will need every penny you can save.

Yours sincerely: North pole elves, Mrs. Claus and Santa Claus.
« Last Edit: December 25, 2016, 01:32:30 AM by bbell »
You must forgive them. So many people did not slay the bogey man living under their bed as a child. Thus they feel him everywhere, hence the need to always carry a gun. Living in fear of the bogey man is a heavy burden for people to carry. So sad.